Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
my poor anus
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
