That's when you crack a 10am beer
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize