i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
