i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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