she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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