First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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