he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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