And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
