if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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