he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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