check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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