Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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