i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
