I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
