guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
