Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
