Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
