she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
