I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
