I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
