Someone shit on the floor
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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