What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
