she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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