I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I think people are normalizing furries
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
