I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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