you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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