Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize