my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
