i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
