Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
I dont know to explain this.
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He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.