My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Randomize
