I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.