Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.