Ambien. No doubt about it.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
