What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
