you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
