NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
operation have a gay friend backfired
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
