True but thats because hes a fetus.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
