i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
