note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out