this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?