You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!