do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.