Wow word travels fast.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...