I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Fuck now we have to have sex
In a bet, need to win
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.