windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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