Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize