I puked a lego.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We don't watch enough power rangers
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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