There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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