my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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