How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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