I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
