I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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