I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
