clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
