OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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