Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
tell me about the eggs
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize