420 ftw
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
