Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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