just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
