I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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