We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize