I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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