They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
