so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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