the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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