was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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